First of all I would like to say Happy Mother's Day.

Tonight, we will go have dinner,

like we use to,

just the two of us,

where you want to go.

What do you want?

This city is your oyster,

I give it to you, mother.

I will make the lights in Atlanta,

shine just for you.

I bought you a rose,

made as clear as crystal,

I know you love roses.

I will surprise you with my gift,

when we slip back into my car,

after dinner,

Happy Mother's Day,

is all I will have to say.

 

I heard, mother,

that you have an apartment downtown.

So, that is where you have been all this time?

An apartment downtown is where you go every night,

and every early morning I hear,

you creep in the house,

that is where you have been?

When I needed you to be there,

to help with my life,

you were shaking up at some place for $495.

I  know you have a boyfriend.

I bet you think you love him,

like you love your husband,

my father.

You love him when he gulps,

down pints of beers,

and droplets fall off of his beard,

how attractive is that,

touching his hand as you call out to the tender,

for another bud.

"Yeah , tender send another."

You kiss his lips,

he breaks apart,

all that we are,

but you don't care.

I am a mistake made along the way,

you wish you could ride yourself of.

 

Happy Mother's Day.

 

I usually sit there with my blanket around me,

trying to look tough,

'cause I know  that you,

judge a book by its cover.

What lies just behind these furrowed eyebrows,

is a mind screaming to you.

I miss you, mother,

and all of the things we shared,

of love,

of laughter.

I could have sworn,

we were just a day away,

from being happily every after.

 

Now you leave me for days,

to sit here in this empty house,

to become his slave again.

I vowed I would never be that again.

You break all I stand for,

by what you make me do,

you threw me out into the world,

without telling me goodbye.

I lost my strength.

I lost my will to live.

I lost my pride.

I lost my mother,

to liquor and drugs.

Bringing "friends" home,

fixing them a home cooked meal,

then sharing a bag of coke,

a blunt or two.

You sit in the room next to mine,

and snort until you blow.

I can't help but wish,

You would just go.

'cause I have nowhere else to go.

 

Happy Mother's Day.

 

You are my mother,

no matter what you say or do.

I can't change that even if I wished to.

You told me once after,

falling from a buzz,

" I gave you life,

and I can take it away."

Well then mother,

what are you waiting for?

Tell me where, and when.

I will supply the gun,

cocked and ready for you.

All you have done,

has already killed the bright eyed child inside of me,

that waited by the window,

staring out with hopeful eyes.

The child waited for her mother to come home.

Her mother was nothing less then a goddess,

a Saint from  Heaven, in her eyes.

The Saint would save her.

When her daddy,

would get violent.

She always had her mother to save her…

 

Now my daddy has to save me.

He replaced these rags full of holes,

with new clothes.

He bought food,

for this vacant stomach.

The job I sweated through,

was just enough for me,

to survive before he came along.

The cats and dogs had to be fed,

the cars had to be washed,

the dishes cleaned,

house swept,

the floor had to be retiled,

the house needed to be painted,

and the carpet had to be cleaned.

A girl of sixteen,

you made me grow into a woman.

While you acted like a reckless teen,

full of promise,

and ignorance.

 

I made the house sparkle,

just like the Atlanta night,

for you.

But you still stumbled in  drunk,

fumbling at the door,

with a jingle of your keys as they fall on the pourch.

I am frozen with fear on the couch,

eyes glued to the door.

Which mother would walk through that door?

 

All of those moral you taught me.

( Don't drink, Don't drink and drive, Don't do drugs, Think positive, Don't lie.)

was just deception to keep me quiet.

 

Happy Mother's Day…

 

This broken girl,

is going to make the city tonight,

sparkle with her tears,

just for you.

“Is there anyway we could work this friendship out?”

 

With a deep sigh, I just have to give in

I would do anything to make you happy,

‘cause that is all I ever wanted.  

 

When another came into your life,

and snatched your heart right from my grasp,

I had to let you go.

 

You meant the world to me.

Just by the sound of your breath,

you could soothe away,

all of the evil,

that I could not escape.

 

Words and Rhymes,

of poetry and songs,

You made a promise,

to never leave me.

I trusted you with all of my heart,

You said you would never break it.

 

Break my heart once,

makes you feel guilty.

Break my heart twice,

makes you tell me you can’t live without me,

Break my heart the third time,

you tell me we should be friends.

Now I am the one that does not know how to let go.

 

If it would make you happy,

we can be friends.

I will be the one you turn to,

when she makes you cry.

You can tell me about,

how you can’t live without,

her.

I will tell you just how lucky she is to have you,

how anyone would be lucky,

to just have you.

A warm smile would creep on your lips,

this numb face of mine would make some movement,

as to scare away your doubts that I was hurting.

I know what I have to do to make you happy.

I mean my words, until the end.

 

You are the kind of girl,

that I write about.

The girl that I love,

that I cant live without.

All I ever wanted in my life,

what makes me happy everyday.

 

You are the kind of girl,

that I write about.

The girl that I can’t have,

but only in memories.

Pictures, and poems,

don’t mean a thing…

Unless I can hear you, see you…

There are some things you just can’t have,

no matter how bad you want it.

There are just some places,

you are never meant to go,

no matter how badly you want to be.

In some places,

You don’t belong….

even if that is where you want to be…

Your heart is where I want to be…

I don’t belong..

 

even if it is where I want to be…

Am I just another regret

To live like a weight

Weighing down your tongue

So you can't speak to me anymore?

 

Am I something you wish you could have done differently?

Am I what haunts you at night?

 

You don't know pain until you're on the other side,

You don't know heartbreak,

Until the one you love,

Regards you as a mistake,

And lets fate fade away.

 

You don't know heartbreak,

Until you are the one,

With the broken heart,

Liquor lips,

Druggie lungs,

Scars on the arms.

 

You don't know heartbreak,

Until you are the mistake.

And the only sound you can hear in your head,

As you lay half asleep at night,

Is the tear filled voice of you lover

Saying…

"I made a mistake."

 

The heart does not lie,

Mine still calls for you,

My soul waits on the misty river side,

Digging my feet into the mud,

Dew droplets forming on my exposed arms,

Eyes searching the foggy surface of the river,

Only the sounds of the creatures,

Making their great statements of life,

Fill my ears.

But that is not all I can hear

"I made a mistake…..

I am sorry…"

 

This heart does not want a sorry,

This heart wants you to tell me you love me.

Tell me like you use to…Put my soul at rest.

Come with your boat,

And I will paddle both of us home,

To peace where all we ever wanted,

was the silence of the lake,

just to hear our hearts beating faster,

as we looked into each other's eyes.

 

Only…You can't tell me you love,

Because it falls off of your tongue,

Sweetly… to another.

She is your lover,

And I am just a mistake,

Made to wait forever…

Waiting…for you to release me

Brittle, and confused

This heart longs for the sense it once felt

To know that there is someone in this world of existence

That wishes you were with them

That thinks of you at night

When the rest of the world has failed them

The only sweet dream they have

Is one with you

 

You can't escape

That feeling you just have to feel

Love, oh lament,

god damn you love

Tear me apart…

Leave me with a restless mind in the dark

Let me sleep with peace when I close my eyes.

Thinking up dreams with her,

Of times that we would share,

Embracing under the Fourth of July sky,

Lit up with the sparkle of fireworks in the background,

As we kiss for the first time.

When she asks me if I felt the fireworks when we kissed,

I would tell her that my heart was about to explode.

 

Tainted, and weakened

This heart longs to be strong again

To resist the urge to call her again

To know exactly when to say,

No I can't stay this time.

To know exactly when to stop,

Loving her with this deaf heart.

Can it not hear my pleads?

 

Nothing can stop this feeling

It rushes like poison through my veins

And spreads like a wildfire disease

When she smiles at me.

Does she even smile at me anymore?

Or are those smiles left over from another lover?

To be thrown out without care

Recycled to sway a heart

That she can so easy rip apart

Eyes forced open with a fake happiness,

I have to watch her fall in love with another.

She looks at her, the way she use to look at me

She tells her that she loves…

The way she use to tell me...

 

I know  it is selfish… but I can't help but think

If only she was lonely,

She would be in my arms again.

We could be happy,

Like we use to be.

If only she was lonely….

Listen up boys and girls

This is the tale of the cat and the mouse

Learn your lessons now,

So you don’t end up like them

 

Humans are hard to figure out indeed,

With their hidden emotions,

And secret sayings,

Leveled deep within themselves.

 

The cat in this game is a beauty indeed,

She stands with her glossy blue eyes,

Pointed on the mouse with indifference,

Running her soft fingertips against the wall,

As the mouse walks beside her,

Patiently waiting for the next move.

 

This is a game of calculation,

If the mouse does not want to end up broken,

By the teeth of the cat,

As her eyes stare down forever,

Piercing deeper then any fang could.

 

The mouse carries on casual conversation with the cat,

Speaking in heavy sentences,

Digging for questions,

She wants to know anything and everything about the cat,

Even if she already knows it.

There is an eager feeling on the edge of her words,

There is something she is thirsting for,

Doing battle with herself,

Over words should she speak.

The mouse is never too clever.

 

The cat just looks and paws at the mouse’s mind,

Giving her enough attention,

Just to fuel another line of questions.

The mouse bites down on the bait,

Filled with joy once more.

Only to feel that fleeting moment,

When she sees the gleam of the white fangs,

As the cat exposes her edgy nature,

And wakeful broken desire.

 

Boys and Girls

You see this mouse is not a very smart mouse.

This mouse longs for what it cannot have,

This mouse is just a fragment of reality,

This mouse does not realize reality.

 

 

For in reality,

A cat always kills the mouse,

Leaving her  wondering with that wakeful broken desire…

Which leaves her bound to play this game again.

“Seek and destroy,

Erase these people,

From the face of the earth,

And do it,

Do it under God’s name,

The Holy father!”

 

Scream your battle cry so it echoes into the ears

Of all of the Americans that want to hear

Exactly what your mission plan consists of

Destroy Destroy, you scream full of love!

Charging the fortress of sanity with weapons in hands

Feet pounding fiercely on this blood soaked land

A small boy with angel wings

Riding on a two headed dragon that sings

The same battle cry you say under God’s name

All the while Valu smiles, eyes engulfed in flames

I don't want your dedication

I can make it on my own

I don't need your medication

This is not a disease

                   

Hide behind your everyday lies

Deny me my birth given rights

I will show you a liberty that cries

Ashamed off all this hate

 

You persecute me, but I love you

I'm there to help you when you call

Why is it so hard for you to love m too?

Preach only what you want to hear

 

Next time read the whole truth

Let our ears hear the whole story

Don't be like Hitler and infect the youth

Keep our children innocent from politics

 

Thousands of teens die because of your views

A civil war on our soil

Sit down comfortable in your pews

Drink up this plot to clear away a group of people

 

Smile an innocent smile

Say this is for the sake to save your morals

Stack your crap higher in this pile

What about the victims of hate crimes?

 

All the times I was told I am going to hell

I hold close the image of my pride

This surely feels like eternal damnation but I can't tell

Matthew,Emitt,Martin,Anna, help me

 

I am punished for not following what you preach

If I wanted to follows murders I would apply for government office

To your heaven I would never reach

My  soul, a wandering ghost

 

Another teen to an early grave

This is what is at the end of a rainbow

America's insane and depraved

 

You can ignore my love, but you will always remember

 

my pride.

Tell me this is a dream

To torture my undying heart

Or is this love what it seems?

Every moment I'm coming apart

Why do you vanish like the wind?

Say you will be there

When the darkness hides again

All of these tears my eyes cannot bare

Don't kiss me and just leave

With my heart still on the floor

All of this pain my body cannot conceive

Was this not the right mask I wore?

So please just  stay here

Together we can dread the dawn

There's nothing you have to fear

My heart is not gone

I'm still yours until I die

A slave girl for your play

But you have already said good-bye

...and I can't wish you away